Pattern dating emotionally unavailable men
Perhaps the person can’t or won’t reciprocate or is simply oblivious, a frustrating irony you must accept. How do you avoid getting entangled in dead-end or delusional relationships where you see someone in terms of how you wish them to be, not who they are? It’s tricky: we tend to show our best selves in the honeymoon stage of a romance.
If being in a relationship with an unavailable person feels like love to you, I urge you to look closer.
Being able to admit that or trying to understand the reasons for making such a terrible choice is a positive sign. Over the years, I’ve worked with many perplexed, lonely patients to uncover why they keep holding a torch for unavailable, commitment-phobic partners and how to surrender this sabotaging pattern.
Most of us aren’t purposely drawn to these kinds of people–their mixed messages combined with our particular susceptibilities, conscious or unconscious, can lure us in.
Commitment phobic women also fear intimacy and want to keep a distance.
To find true love, ideally you want to avoid getting involved with anyone who can’t reciprocate your affections. Orloff is a psychiatrist, an empath, and is on the UCLA Psychiatric Clinical Faculty.