Dating for a year and a half
Here's what nine relationships experts had to say about the matter.“The first year of a relationship can be a very exciting time, but it doesn't come without challenges,” Bizzoco tells Bustle.
“The first year is when you and your partner are getting to know each other's personalities and determining whether you see a future with them or not.” Naturally, there will be some push and pull here.
“When this happens, some couples believe the love is over and break up.”“I've found two main reasons for couples breaking up around the year mark,” life coach Kali Rogers tells Bustle.
“First, infatuation, or the initial excited state of a relationship, can last anywhere between six months to two years.” If you’re infatuated, you’re all in — for now.
By five years in, most couples only had a 20 percent breakup rate, and by 10, they come down even more.
So why is it that people are so prone to splits in the beginning?
“A relationship begins with projection, which means you don't see who the other person is, just who you want them to be,” she says.
“This typically happens after the first or second year mark."“After a year or so, the new relationship euphoria begins to wear off, and reality sets in,” Tina B. Romance, psychotherapist and author of How to Be Happy Partners: Working it out Together, tells Bustle.
“Both partners relax, and stop being on their best behavior.” But this isn’t all good.
“Either you will be really attracted to them or exceptionally turned off, By this point, they are so invested they are spending the rest of the year trying to hope away your flaws.” Oh, dear.“Researchers in London discovered that when you fall in love, certain parts of your brain deactivate,” Dawn Maslar, aka “the Love Biologist,” tells Bustle.
“Specifically, your ventromedial prefrontal cortex — that's the part of your brain that judges the other person.” If that’s off, you’re not going judgmental on someone — you’re just going googly.
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“The next stage is disillusionment, where you see who they really are and not your fantasy, which is why people break up in the three-to-nine-month window.”And then, of course, there’s the final stage: “There's a power struggle or conflict,” she says.