Dating advice for women in their thirties
Here's how to take stock of your goals, make some strategic changes and get long-term satisfaction out of love and life.
In your 20s, you were probably dreaming up what would be the pinnacle of your career life, because, why not?
"Doing so will help you create what you want to create in your life—instead of just passively waiting for him to find you."You've probably met your fair share of men who would qualify for your own personal What Was I Thinking? Maybe you took a risk on that guy with the emotional issues, or that supposedly-reformed player with a laundry list of ex-flames.
Don't beat yourself over those mistakes, says Steinberg.
The less time you spend with a dead-end dude, the more room you'll have to pace the relationship with a guy who seems like a potential winner.
"You don't want to rush the process with him," says Steinberg. Make a date with yourself for a cup of coffee or glass of wine, grab a notebook, and take stock of your behaviors in your 20s.
"It takes time to discover your feelings, for him to discover his, to build an emotional bond, and to see he's consistently trustworthy, reliable, kind, emotionally available and sensitive to your needs." If a guy obviously isn't? Think about what didn't work in terms of fostering personal and relationship growth. Get specific about the choices you made and what might need to change.
Specifically, the key is in establishing smart boundaries.
So while you should keep those sky-high goals close to your heart, you also have to hold yourself accountable for not missing out on something else you really want—like marriage and kids.); actually putting yourself out there at events and activities where you're likely to meet people; tapping into your network of friends for set-ups; and so on."It's about taking action, in more ways than one," she says.Maybe you'll take a slightly lesser position to be closer to family, or scale back on those 60-hour workweeks to devote more time to your relationship life."Carpenter says pick one or two categories or goals that you really want to devote yourself to, and put the majority of the emphasis there.Hold on to your phones or computer mouses because you're about to get a little tough love.